Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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