Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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