Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This is the prime rib incident all over again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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