Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
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I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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