I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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