You're my little dorito
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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