My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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