I'm lost and stupid without you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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