I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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