Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize