Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize