If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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