it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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