He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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