Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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  (207): saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow. (513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single. http://tfl.nu/mtqr
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.

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  (561): My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist. http://tfl.nu/h6i5
  Replies (39) Good night (5258) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

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  (214): No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix http://tfl.nu/3cn5
  Replies (11) Good night (588) Bad night (3552) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many

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  (319): You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many http://tfl.nu/z652
  Replies (8) Good night (4761) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...

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  (708): For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night... http://tfl.nu/rl66
  Replies (9) Good night (3228) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.

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  (240): Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle. http://tfl.nu/z4p0
  Replies (4) Good night (2009) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party

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  (251): I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party http://tfl.nu/8yh5
  Replies (12) Good night (3633) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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  (618): Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly. http://tfl.nu/ma4l
  Replies (2) Good night (1973) Bad night (1935) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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  (215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx
  Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.

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  (520): I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people. http://tfl.nu/38n6
  Replies (6) Good night (606) Bad night (1081) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

  (813): View more from Florida

  Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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  (813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (315)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.

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  (412): He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up. http://tfl.nu/78zr
  Replies (8) Good night (350) Bad night (1523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy

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  (775): Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy http://tfl.nu/2l3y
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"

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  (613): The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO" http://tfl.nu/6o6m
  Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.

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  (914): Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody. http://tfl.nu/x371
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt

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