We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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