i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize