And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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