she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize