My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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