this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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