i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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