i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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