i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize