Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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