I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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