Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize