We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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