I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize