can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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