Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
they call him Oral-B. enough said
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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