So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize