Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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