put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In America we eat man semen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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