does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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