omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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