I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize