Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize