Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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