You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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