The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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