were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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