Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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