With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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