Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
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Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
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you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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