I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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