At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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