Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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