You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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