you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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