My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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